I sat down to write today and have changed the title so many times! There is just so much to discuss in the fascinating world of love and relationships, but I couldn't let Christmas go by without writing something apt.My word bag is slowly starting to open so who knows where this will end up!Thankfully, I say that now, I have hung up the Christmas party "man-hunting" boots, in favour of a satisfied and happy inner glow and glass of mulled wine around the Christmas tree with my lovely mum, friends and of course Becky Woo, my angelic dog.I have one Christmas run up date in the dizzy diary with my bestest friend Jules, for a meal and few drinks out, but that's it.Am I happy being single this Christmas? I am blissfully happy being me, is my answer to that.I don't NEED love from another to MAKE me happy anymore.Hoorah! But it took me 23 years to work it out.I am the biggest fan of love you will find and believe whole heartedly and with every living cell that being with someone to share life with, is our Divine Calling.If it wasn't there would be hardly any movies, songs, dating agencies.Blah blah.Love does and always will be our number motivation for life.We are love, nothing more, nothing less.Feeling inwardly complete is truly amazing.It affords you the blessing of being able to love without the conditions.There is now room on the path next to me, to walk in freedom and growth with someone else.Someone who will be my mirror and show me how best I can become an even more amazing human being.Now that type of relationship really floats my boat! It's where it's at and the ONLY type of fulfilling partnership you will have.The one with yourself.Fancy some of that? Read on.Singledom is only a label anyway.We were born single and will "go out" single.We are always with ourselves and yet connected on every level with everything and everyone.It's funny, but "single" conjures up for me, the lone part of a whole."I am single" you put on insurance forms, but what's the opposite of that.Whole, double? Are we meant to be single? That's an interesting question.Comments welcome.Those seeking spiritual enlightenment are often single and choosing to develop and grow alone.Maybe it is because their growth is accelerated, but from my travels I have experienced many "spiritually" awake people who don't necessarily have luck in love and therefore choose to stay single to avoid pain.I digress.So there you are all dressed up to the nines and ready for the stretched limo to come and take you out "wiv da girls" for the works Chrissy party or boys, a trip to the local.What do you have in mind? Fun, food, a shed load of alcohol and a little flirtation with the opposite sex maybe.Don't deny it.It's what makes the evening much more enjoyable! Been there many times.In fact many singles go out with the absolute intention of meeting someone new.I did.What a great way to spend Christmas, all wrapped up in new love!But take a moment, before you depart for Club Christmas Do and question the inner voice.You maybe kidding yourself that "oh I just want to have fun and don't care about meeting someone".But can you be sure that is YOUR truth? If not then be honest, is being with that special someone really what you want? Unless you sit in truth with yourself everyday, chances are life will remain full of you kidding yourself and that only harms you.Putting out an image of "I am a free party girl/boy" won't get you love, probably oodles of sex, but that's it.Cool.A lot of guys would say that's exactly what I want! Well ok, but long term, I know that won't be anywhere near fulfilling.What of intimate connection if it is devoid of love?I would ALWAYS go out hoping to meet someone, even though I would never tell anyone.It was my secret inner child hope.I dressed to kill (eek sounds so horrid now!) and went out like a predator into the night, hoping to find that person to love me.With the NEED on full alert I would more often than not find someone, but never the right person and ladies, men smell need a mile off!Need is not love and needing is a display of what is lacking in your own self love.How many times have people said to you "You can't love another, until you love yourself"? It's an ancient saying and one I never used to get at all.Of course I love myself I would protest! But then the measure of my need was always on display because I didn't realise that no man, no matter how gorgeous, could ever fulfil my own desire to love me.So, at this point, you have either established, in an honest moment, that yes you do want to find someone to love and we will talk about that briefly later, or no Gina I am happy being single.Well I challenge you again.Is that really true?In Harville Hendrix's book, Keeping the Love You Find, is an excellent analogy.He says that singledom is the moratorium period between relationships.I love that! It's not to say you have got to be in a relationship at all, you can do in life as you please, but to a certain extent as we leave one relationship, we apply the principal, "phew thank God that's over, he/she was a pain in the ass" and "I just want to do things when and how I want" and that's the reason for being single not because actually being single makes you happy.Get my point? Fine for now but again long term, we start to search again.In the book, Getting the Love You Want, one of my life changing reads, Harville Hendrix explains that our first experience of true separation is at birth, when we become physically detached from our mother and from then we are set on a path to regain that connection once more.A deeply inspiring thought and perhaps that is where our innate longing and need for love comes from.I could go into stuff about our connection to the Divine and that being the only real connection there is, but I would leave a few of you behind and well that is a subject for another day.Establishing that you do want to be in a relationship, brings up a heap of questions from me, such as; what are you attracting and have attracted in present and past partners? Do you know yourself and are you being who you really are? What are the unhealed parts of you?Self enquiry and growth is the only way to engender change so you can be part of better, more fulfilling and happy relationships in the future.Conscious Union is all about you, your return to authenticity and an understanding of where you have come from and where you are going in love.A workshop in January 10 ( please see my web site for details) will help your singledom become a place that I have reached.One of completeness, self honour, self respect and an understanding of why I have done what I have done and finally of acceptance and inner peace but with an openness to attract true love when the time is right.And finally if you are happy being single or should I say just happy being you and have reached the place I have, then I raise a very hearty glass to you this Christmas and say welcome home to you.Have a safe and love filled Christmas from Conscious Union.Namaste x.
Monday, August 20, 2012
Are You Happy Being Single This Christmas?
I sat down to write today and have changed the title so many times! There is just so much to discuss in the fascinating world of love and relationships, but I couldn't let Christmas go by without writing something apt.My word bag is slowly starting to open so who knows where this will end up!Thankfully, I say that now, I have hung up the Christmas party "man-hunting" boots, in favour of a satisfied and happy inner glow and glass of mulled wine around the Christmas tree with my lovely mum, friends and of course Becky Woo, my angelic dog.I have one Christmas run up date in the dizzy diary with my bestest friend Jules, for a meal and few drinks out, but that's it.Am I happy being single this Christmas? I am blissfully happy being me, is my answer to that.I don't NEED love from another to MAKE me happy anymore.Hoorah! But it took me 23 years to work it out.I am the biggest fan of love you will find and believe whole heartedly and with every living cell that being with someone to share life with, is our Divine Calling.If it wasn't there would be hardly any movies, songs, dating agencies.Blah blah.Love does and always will be our number motivation for life.We are love, nothing more, nothing less.Feeling inwardly complete is truly amazing.It affords you the blessing of being able to love without the conditions.There is now room on the path next to me, to walk in freedom and growth with someone else.Someone who will be my mirror and show me how best I can become an even more amazing human being.Now that type of relationship really floats my boat! It's where it's at and the ONLY type of fulfilling partnership you will have.The one with yourself.Fancy some of that? Read on.Singledom is only a label anyway.We were born single and will "go out" single.We are always with ourselves and yet connected on every level with everything and everyone.It's funny, but "single" conjures up for me, the lone part of a whole."I am single" you put on insurance forms, but what's the opposite of that.Whole, double? Are we meant to be single? That's an interesting question.Comments welcome.Those seeking spiritual enlightenment are often single and choosing to develop and grow alone.Maybe it is because their growth is accelerated, but from my travels I have experienced many "spiritually" awake people who don't necessarily have luck in love and therefore choose to stay single to avoid pain.I digress.So there you are all dressed up to the nines and ready for the stretched limo to come and take you out "wiv da girls" for the works Chrissy party or boys, a trip to the local.What do you have in mind? Fun, food, a shed load of alcohol and a little flirtation with the opposite sex maybe.Don't deny it.It's what makes the evening much more enjoyable! Been there many times.In fact many singles go out with the absolute intention of meeting someone new.I did.What a great way to spend Christmas, all wrapped up in new love!But take a moment, before you depart for Club Christmas Do and question the inner voice.You maybe kidding yourself that "oh I just want to have fun and don't care about meeting someone".But can you be sure that is YOUR truth? If not then be honest, is being with that special someone really what you want? Unless you sit in truth with yourself everyday, chances are life will remain full of you kidding yourself and that only harms you.Putting out an image of "I am a free party girl/boy" won't get you love, probably oodles of sex, but that's it.Cool.A lot of guys would say that's exactly what I want! Well ok, but long term, I know that won't be anywhere near fulfilling.What of intimate connection if it is devoid of love?I would ALWAYS go out hoping to meet someone, even though I would never tell anyone.It was my secret inner child hope.I dressed to kill (eek sounds so horrid now!) and went out like a predator into the night, hoping to find that person to love me.With the NEED on full alert I would more often than not find someone, but never the right person and ladies, men smell need a mile off!Need is not love and needing is a display of what is lacking in your own self love.How many times have people said to you "You can't love another, until you love yourself"? It's an ancient saying and one I never used to get at all.Of course I love myself I would protest! But then the measure of my need was always on display because I didn't realise that no man, no matter how gorgeous, could ever fulfil my own desire to love me.So, at this point, you have either established, in an honest moment, that yes you do want to find someone to love and we will talk about that briefly later, or no Gina I am happy being single.Well I challenge you again.Is that really true?In Harville Hendrix's book, Keeping the Love You Find, is an excellent analogy.He says that singledom is the moratorium period between relationships.I love that! It's not to say you have got to be in a relationship at all, you can do in life as you please, but to a certain extent as we leave one relationship, we apply the principal, "phew thank God that's over, he/she was a pain in the ass" and "I just want to do things when and how I want" and that's the reason for being single not because actually being single makes you happy.Get my point? Fine for now but again long term, we start to search again.In the book, Getting the Love You Want, one of my life changing reads, Harville Hendrix explains that our first experience of true separation is at birth, when we become physically detached from our mother and from then we are set on a path to regain that connection once more.A deeply inspiring thought and perhaps that is where our innate longing and need for love comes from.I could go into stuff about our connection to the Divine and that being the only real connection there is, but I would leave a few of you behind and well that is a subject for another day.Establishing that you do want to be in a relationship, brings up a heap of questions from me, such as; what are you attracting and have attracted in present and past partners? Do you know yourself and are you being who you really are? What are the unhealed parts of you?Self enquiry and growth is the only way to engender change so you can be part of better, more fulfilling and happy relationships in the future.Conscious Union is all about you, your return to authenticity and an understanding of where you have come from and where you are going in love.A workshop in January 10 ( please see my web site for details) will help your singledom become a place that I have reached.One of completeness, self honour, self respect and an understanding of why I have done what I have done and finally of acceptance and inner peace but with an openness to attract true love when the time is right.And finally if you are happy being single or should I say just happy being you and have reached the place I have, then I raise a very hearty glass to you this Christmas and say welcome home to you.Have a safe and love filled Christmas from Conscious Union.Namaste x.
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